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Tired of getting ghosted?

Most adults were never taught how to connect under pressure. Attouch shows you the pattern behind your reactions and trains the next step with you.

Join the betaSee how it works

Where connection gets hard

Attouch is built for real moments with friends, dates and family. Go through ten of them and find the one closest to your week.

  1. Friends · Making new friends

    Want to make new friends as an adult?

    You get along at work or at the gym, and it never turns into a plan.

    No module covers this topic yet.

  2. Friends · Closeness

    Friends got busy and the chat went quiet?

    You miss them, and every message you draft feels too much or too little.

    In the app

    • Friendship Bond

  3. Dating · Dating without the spiral

    Staring at “Seen” with no reply?

    You check the phone again and write three versions of a message you never send.

    In the app

    • Calming Emotional Storms

  4. Dating · Instability

    Keep falling for people who run hot and cold?

    The good days feel huge, and the quiet days feel like the end.

    In the app

    • Developing trust gradually

  5. Family · Family and guilt

    Does your family trigger guilt?

    One call with a parent, and the guilt stays for the rest of the day.

    In the app

    • Family Bond

  6. Family · Limits with people you love

    Saying no to family feels like betrayal?

    You say yes to keep the peace, and the resentment comes later.

    In the app

    • Emotional Boundaries

  7. Conflict · Fights that end well

    Go silent when it gets heated?

    The right words arrive an hour after the argument is over.

    In the app

    • Recognizing Emotional Shutdowns

  8. Conflict · Saying what you mean

    Know what to say, and the words won’t come?

    You rehearse the talk for days and still open with an apology.

    In the app

    • Clear Communication Skills

  9. Patterns · Your repeating pattern

    Same story, different person?

    A new person, a fresh start, and the same ending three months in.

    In the app

    • The 36-statement assessment

  10. Patterns · Staying steady in the moment

    Calm in your head, a mess in the moment?

    You know what you want to do, and your body reacts first.

    In the app

    • The Reflective Pause Strategy

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Recognize one of these?

Scroll down to see how Attouch works on it

How Attouch works on it

Learn the pattern. Train the skill. Build the connection.

It starts with 36 statements. Your answers place you on the map of anxiety and avoidance and set your track of 13 modules.

  1. Practice

    Exercises train regulation, boundaries, repair and clear words. Each one explains why it works, what to do and when to use it.

    • Journal templates Soon

      Guided entries turn a hard day into notes you can use.

  2. Apply in real life

    In a Bond, you and someone close read about your two styles together, then do exercises picked for both of you.

    • Reverse Analysis Soon

      Reframe a situation and get the next step.

    • Script Library Soon

      Ready words for clarity, boundaries and repair.

  3. Learn

    Short modules explain your attachment pattern, emotional intelligence and how stress changes your reactions. Most take 5 to 8 minutes.

    In this sample, you have completed 3 of 13 modules.

What Attouch is

  • Attouch trains skills for real situations: a reply to write, a call to make, a fight to repair.
  • Most exercises end with a reflection and tell you when to use them again.
  • Exercises such as “I Feel… I Need…” train honest words for what you feel and what you need.
  • Every module stays open once you finish the track, so you can repeat any exercise as often as you like.

Practice together in Bonds

Invite someone close with a code. You read together first, then each exercise opens once both of you finish the previous one.

  • A Bond is for 2 people.
  • The invitation code has 8 characters and works for 7 days.
  • You choose the type of Bond: romantic, friendship or family.
  • The app picks the reading and 10 exercises from your style and the style of someone close.

Because the content depends on both styles, someone close may infer your style.

Join the beta

The four attachment styles

The assessment places you on a map with two axes, anxiety and avoidance. Each of the four quadrants of the map is one attachment style.

  • You
  • Someone close

The map places the four attachment styles by anxiety and avoidance. Secure sits where both are low. Disorganized sits where both are high.

  1. Secure

    Relaxed and engaging

    Your answers show low anxiety and low avoidance.

    The Secure track has 13 modules, including these three.

    Modules

    • Emotional Intelligence
    • Keeping Balance
    • Deepening Connection

  2. Anxious

    Anxious and engaging

    Your answers show high anxiety and low avoidance.

    The Anxious track has 13 modules, including these three.

    Modules

    • Building Self-Reliance
    • Calming Emotional Storms
    • Clear Communication Skills

  3. Avoidant

    Relaxed and avoidant

    Your answers show low anxiety and high avoidance.

    The Avoidant track has 13 modules, including these three.

    Modules

    • Recognizing Emotional Shutdowns
    • Effective Communication of Boundaries
    • Embracing Healthy Dependency

  4. Disorganized

    Anxious and avoidant

    Your answers show high anxiety and high avoidance.

    The Disorganized track has 13 modules, including these three.

    Modules

    • Gradual Trust-Building Exercises
    • Setting Boundaries for Emotional Safety
    • Achieving Emotional Stability

What the assessment measures

The 36 statements fall into three areas of 12 statements each. Anxiety and avoidance place you on the map. Regulation adds a third score, shown as one of three levels.

The 36 dots stand for the 36 statements, in three rows of 12 for anxiety, avoidance and regulation.

  • Anxiety

    The statements include "I worry about being replaced or forgotten by people I care about."

  • Avoidance

    The statements include "I avoid deep emotional conversations when possible."

  • Regulation

    The statements include "My feelings toward someone can change suddenly without a clear reason."

    • Stable
    • Mixed
    • Variable

Your result is a snapshot of the answers you give. You can retake the assessment from your profile.

Join the beta

What newer research adds

The four styles are a useful start. Research since then describes attachment as two scales that shift with life and with each person.

  1. Established

    Two scales

    Attachment is two scales, anxiety and avoidance, so most people sit somewhere in between.

    Sources
  2. Established

    Your past explains part

    Early life shapes adult attachment only weakly, so your past explains a part of your pattern.

    Sources
  3. Established

    It moves with life

    A new relationship, a lost job or a fight can shift how secure you feel, and much of the shift fades again.

    Sources
  4. Established

    Different with different people

    You can feel secure with a friend and anxious with a partner.

    Sources
  5. Thin

    Partly inherited

    In one twin study of older adults, genes explained about a third of the differences between people.

    Sources
  6. Thin

    Wanting to change helps

    People who want to feel more secure tend to move that way over months.

    Sources
  7. Thin

    Partners can soften it

    A partner who answers with warmth and trust can ease anxious or avoidant reactions, though studies may overstate the effect.

    Sources
  8. Simplified

    The brain side

    In brain studies, anxious attachment goes with a stronger alarm response and avoidant attachment with a weaker one.

    Sources

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  • Established: many studies agree
  • Simplified: true in one sentence, more complex in detail
  • Thin: few or small studies

Why you react the way you do

Pick a moment, and the brain lights up the parts that research links to it. Each part explains one piece of your reaction.

Pick a moment

  • Studied in this situation
  • Studied in a similar lab task
  • Our reading of separate findings

Parts involved

  • Amygdala

    Established

    Helps the brain notice what matters to you and gets the body ready to respond.

    A silence from someone who matters can register as important and uncertain, and your body reacts before you have a clear thought.

  • Insula

    Established

    Turns signals from inside the body, like a tight stomach, into feelings you can notice.

    The drop in your stomach when you check the phone is part of the feeling itself.

  • Reward system

    Simplified

    Helps you go after what feels rewarding, and closeness with someone counts as a reward.

    A reply that could arrive at any moment can keep your attention on the phone.

Simplified picture. Brain regions work together in networks. Educational content that does not replace medical advice. Sources for each part

Staying steady in the moment

An emotion builds in steps, and each step is a place where you can change how it unfolds. Reframing and seeing the other side helped most in lab studies.

  1. Choose the situation

    Meet a friend in the evening in place of waiting alone at home.

  2. Change the situation

    Tell them once, plainly, when you are free to talk.

  3. Move your attention

    Put the phone in another room for an hour.

  4. Change the meaning

    “They are in a meeting” in place of “they are ignoring me”.

  5. Calm the body

    Breathe out slowly, longer than you breathe in.

What research supports

  • Reframing the situation

    Reframing can take the edge off a feeling.

    Moderate

  • Seeing their side

    Seeing it from their side can ease the reaction.

    Moderate

  • Naming the feeling

    A few precise words for a feeling can take some of the intensity out of it.

    Thin to moderate

  • Slow breathing

    Slow breathing can calm the body.

    Moderate

  • Safe company

    Being with someone safe can ease the body’s alarm.

    Thin to moderate

These results come from lab studies and vary between people. Sources

In the app

Your result includes a regulation reading of Stable, Mixed or Variable. Modules such as Calming Emotional Storms and Processing Stress let you practice these steps.

  • Stable
  • Mixed
  • Variable

Join the beta

You leave your name and email address, and Attouch emails you about beta access.

  • Confirmation by email

    You confirm your email address once. Every email has an unsubscribe link.

  • Your signup data

    Attouch keeps your name and email address until you unsubscribe or ask for deletion.

Where the approach comes from

The modules draw on attachment theory, and the exercises use techniques from four therapies. Attouch has not tested the approach in formal trials.

Attachment theory

The assessment scores the two dimensions of attachment theory, anxiety and avoidance.

Techniques used by the exercises

Cognitive behavioral therapy
One exercise challenges thought patterns such as mind-reading and fortune-telling.
Dialectical behavior therapy
A skill for strong emotions starts with cold water on your face or an ice cube in your hand.
Schema therapy
An exercise uses visualization to meet emotional needs such as safety and consistency.
Acceptance and commitment therapy
One exercise asks you to frame an anxious thought as a passing mental event.

How your data is handled

Attouch stores your data in Germany
Attouch runs its servers in Germany, and your data stays in the EU.
Attouch never sells your data
The app privacy policy also rules out using your data for advertising.
Attouch asks for your consent to use health data
Your assessment results and journal entries need a separate consent. If you withdraw your consent, Attouch deletes your assessment results, journal entries and mood data.
Attouch deletes accounts after 12 months without a login
Attouch sends reminder emails 30, 60 and 90 days before the deletion. A login restarts the 12 months.
Attouch lets you export your data and delete your account
The app exports your data as a file. Deleting your account takes effect at once.
In the app, only you see your journal
Attouch logs access to health data.
The app and the website encrypt your connection
This covers the app, the website and the beta signup form.

Questions about Attouch and the beta

Is the beta free?

Yes, beta access is free of charge. You sign up with your name and email address.

Is Attouch therapy or a diagnosis?

Attouch is a wellness and self-help app, not therapy. For a diagnosis or treatment, you need a professional.

Who can use it?

You need to be at least 16. Between 16 and 18, you need the consent of your parents or legal guardians. The app screens are in English and German, and the content is in English.

How do I sign in?

You sign in with your email address and a 6-digit code that Attouch emails to you.

Join the beta